Reflective Sunday
Oct. 30th, 2022 01:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Sometimes, when I'm feeling reckless, or perhaps passive, I think about the life I thought I would have at this point, and I miss who I thought you would be, and who I thought I would be, and who I thought we would be together. But then I quickly heave a sigh of relief that I'm not that person and that I am who I am. And then sometimes I notice Ed coming out and listing the things I should feel guilty about, especially on my days off, and that same part of me starts to go down some nihilist track of thinking, like what does it all mean? We all get up and do the same thing every day and then eventually die. And then I think about how grossly incorrect aht is, because we essentially get to create the person we want to be, and keep creating that person and keep growing that person. And today I've been feeling particularly compassion fatigued, I know it has been coing on for a while, it usually does about this time every six months or so, especially since my last time off was during a family reunion so not exactly calm. So that means my last time off was...when? Ahh, when I moved in June. Yeah, that makes sense that I'm starting to feel it, I usually feel it every six months or so. I think it's time for me to walk my dog.